The development of sexual awareness.

Sexual maturity localizes the sexual energy in the bodily organs, and from this time forth the bodily part comes out to the forefront. Through this sexual awareness is created. What we have called sexuality before now embraces the physical development of sexual organs, as well as the awareness of one’s sexual motions. The two sides of sexuality are intimately connected, but sexual awareness may be dim and unclear. Due to certain physiological and anatomical peculiarities of a man’s body boys usually have a more vivid and distinct sexual awareness. That is why the work of imagination in boys is much more active and vivid in the sphere of sex. If we also consider the talks they might often have, then the danger of "soiling" their imagination becomes most explicable. But no matter how vague or more definite the work of sexual imagination may be, sexual ripening in itself causes deep changes in young organisms.

The spiritual side of this change lies in the fact that young boys who have just lately been greatly devoted to different social activities (imitating older people, leaving the family for the company of boy and girl friends, a disposition to be engaged in adventures, being in love with "heroes" etc.), now retire into themselves, beginning to stand aloof from society. The sphere of the subconscious that captivates a young soul now becomes the central point of its mental activities. Consciousness is not able to cope with the play of the subconscious power that grows strong in a young person. This becomes a source of constant contradictions: pretentiousness, dreaming, irritability, becoming keen on science fiction. Very often teens even do not know what they want...

Observation:

Boys at a transitional age are often upset, relaxed, as though "scattered." It is not so with girls. They instinctively know that they will have to create a family and bear children. They are not allowed to relax. Boys are "scattered." Girls are "self-disciplined."

How do we know that the transitional age has started with a girl? – We can judge about this even by looking at her coming home. Let us assume that a school-friend has called her. She grabs her coat and runs away — she is still a child. And here we have another young girl who has been called to go out into "society"... The real "society" is not there, but she would like to go out (to a dancing party or to a movie). Do you think that she will just stand up and go ahead? – No, she has to prepare, making a serious work on herself. First of all, she sits down, studies herself thoroughly and... puts on a "militant" make up. As any symbolic coloring, this make up has a meaning that may be expressed in the following words. Girls, do not get offended please, but I will say these words that are written on your faces when you make up for such an occasion. Somebody must tell you this anyway. The meaning of such a make up is this: "I’m looking... Looking for a partner..."

While a girl is making up like that, a certain change happens within her soul. The soul has a point of attention (a point of concentration), which can move within the body... We may move it willingly, but most of the time it just wanders. While the girl is getting ready for the "exit", this point of concentration slowly moves from the head (if it had been there) down... lower... lower... even more lower... The expression of the eyes changes, a special light is coming out of them (as from the eyes of a beast at night). The point of concentration is going down and down, below the diaphragm. From down there, from the deep, comes a cloud, which is called "female charm." The girl has fixed this cloud... And only now she will stand up and leave.

She goes on like a bulldozer. She meets him — relaxed, scattered, on half-bent legs. What will happen? Yes, she is going to "knock him off." Boys, bear in mind, that girls often "knock you off" not because they like you: they are just interested in how it is done.

You see, the outward picture of psychical change in the transitional age in boys and girls is different. But their essence is the same: lust captures the mind and makes it a servant to itself.

For example, a man has fallen in love. Not to say that he really loves, because a man loves with all his soul. No, he is infatuated; only the passionate part of his soul is excited, the part that creates in his mind the image of a loved one. But this image is deceptive. If an infatuated man comes into an intimate contact with his loved one and the passion is satisfied, his mind starts to imagine another image of a lately loved one. Will this second image be a true or deceptive one? True? – No, it is deceptive again: the pendulum has swung to another side, from one illusion to another.